High School Anyone?

(picture from msn.com)

Whenever I watch an episode of "The Real Housewives", I feel like I have gone back to high school (but with rich middle aged women that have an unending supply of designer high heels, spray tans, and dinner parties). The housewives of New York City more so then any other, with their catty comments, sabotage, and other "mean girl" behavior.

Jill (second from the left) is the worst offender. If you're on Jill's "side" she is your best friend, full of compliments, invitations, and gossip to share. If however, you should even dream of disagreeing with her, or make the mistake of leaving her off the guest list, beware. She resorts to immature behavior like trying to get as many of your friends/acquaintances to join her in blacklisting you. Even if it means recruiting people she previously couldn't stand, if they agree to dislike you, then they are in (for the moment). Oh and any dirty laundry you might have had or ammunition you may have given her in the past... take cover...it's coming out and she will tell anyone who will listen (newspapers, psychics, you name it). All the while she plays the victim, acting like she is only doing this because you hurt her so deeply (by disagreeing/not including her). Jill's friends should understand that with her "friendships are like bank accounts" deposits are welcomed... withdrawals are frowned upon.

Deputy Mean Girl and Jill's henchman (until she stops kissing butt) is LuAnn (far left). LuAnn is eating up being bffs with Jill now that Bethany has been kicked to the curb. Poor Bethenny had the nerve to become successful, get a book deal, and get a boyfriend and not properly credit Jill for whatever small part she may have played by being her friend, but we'll cover Bethenny later. LuAnn is recently divorced from a Count (fancy huh?) and appears to get off on all things that make her appear more important then she is. Fancy European air kisses?... You betcha ya (and if you only give one, she will demand a second). Introduce her to someone she feels is lower class...say a cabbie... prepare to be reprimanded. Leave off her title of Countess when introducing or addressing her?...How dare you!!! She comes off as one of the more pretentious housewives (that's an accomplishment) but she will take her jabs and insult you with a smile and laugh (just ask the little girl who was part of LuAnn's charity work for underprivileged girls who said she wanted to be a model when she grew up and was told by the Countess that she had time to lose the weight).

The target of Jill and LuAnn's two women army at the moment is Bethenny. Bethenny is probably my favorite housewife. She's funny, she's successful (by her own merit) and she will tell it like it is in a heartbeat (she called "the countess" a snake to her face). She recently got engaged and found out she was pregnant. News you would normally share with your best girl friend, but upon returning from her book tour she found out she no longer had one. Bethenny apparently made the mistake of not crediting Jill enough in her success or didn't invite her on a trip she was going on, or something unforgivable like that. In return Bethenny left a peeved message that Jill is now playing for anyone who will listen to get them on her side. Can I understand Jill's feelings being hurt...yeah. But to blacklist your best friend without really even talking to her about why you are mad, or trying to work it out, I don't get it. Since their falling out they have had a couple of face to face encounters where Jill acts like she is too distraught to talk. That, or Jill finds excuses to avoid Bethenny for as long as possible before they finally are face to face and she proceeds to act fakely happy and like nothing is wrong.

As for the other three housewives they have kind of taken a backseat this season. Romona (second from the right) is big into "renewal" (new hair, renewing vows) and is as crazy as ever. She insults the other housewives one minute and is hugging them the next. The funniest thing she has done so far this season is telling another housewife , Kelly, that her boobs were lopsided and then didn't get why Kelly would be insulted. Oh Romona.

Shockingly Kelly (third from right) has been fairly normal this season or maybe she is just being out shined by the other levels of crazy distracting the viewers. She still seems kind of clueless though and thinks that by repeating things multiple times she makes a good argument..No no no and Seriously? Seriously? seem to be favorites (or maybe all the spray tanning fumes are going to her brain).

Finally there's Alex (far right) who I would have to say is the most down to earth of the housewives, at least this season. Alex is the girl in high school that is friendly with everyone both inside and outside of her clique. She is laying low, or as low as one can, with a husband that wears fuchsia loafers. She doesn't seemed swayed by the other housewives and their pettiness. Alex stands up for herself when she needs to and seems genuine in her interactions with all the housewives, good or bad.

These women, their lifestyles, and shenanigans make for good TV. Anyone who misses the brutality of high school or remembers why they are glad to be done with it, need only tune into Bravo at 10:00 PM (EST) to get their fix.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled life.